• J. S. Eiland

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Trying to build a habit here, which is tough. They say it takes twenty-eight days to build a habit. I wonder how many days it takes to break a habit? The truth is rather that I am actively building a couple habits at the very least. For context to all of you these habits all center around writing. I don’t want to beat myself up if I don't write on any given day. But from the other face of the same coin comes the point; if I don't hold myself to some sort of standard, rhythm, or consistency than am I all talk? Well men of God are not all talk. I know this and have seen this in my own life on many an occasion. Additionally, I am a man of my word due to my own egotistical pride as well. Henceforth, if I am going to go around calling myself a writer than I need to be writing regularly. Not necessarily every day, thoug

h that goal is looming on the horizon and certainly achievable in due time, but some sort of consistent regularity must be adhered to or face fraudulence. I refuse to be called a fraud. I will be called many things and many of them will be true whether I like this or not. Despite the infallible truth in all of that, I will never be and therefore never be willingly referred to as a fraud.

Art by Brian Taylor courtesy of Chronicle.com

Life is about living and no matter your stance on God, President Trump, Islam, Socialism or otherwise, there is a universal truth transcending the bullshit of our world and that truth is this simple fact, we are alive. Maybe that doesn't seem like much or even enough sometimes, but is it not? Honestly? Would you rather not be alive? If you truly answer in the negative to this line of questioning my heart goes out to you and I urge you to seek out help from those around you because I promise you this, you are meant to enjoy your life. Think of it like this. Where is that one experience in your life which brings you boundlessly ecstatic joy. Find that experience now. That memory. That activity. That person. Whatever that experience think of it, think of that moment wholly. Think of that moment completely. Let it wash over you and sink deep into your psyche so you can actually feel that happiness bubbling up from deep inside you. Whenever you are engulfed in this bliss is there any part of you that is not completely overjoyed with life at that moment? Sometimes there is even a heavy burden or some sort of stressor which looms just beyond the glow of these life affirming moments, but none of that matters in that perfect moment does it? I’ve known people to even see said stressor in the midst of their glorious moment and paid it no mind whatsoever because it does not truly carry any weight, certainly not enough to matter to them when they were so overjoyed. Not at that moment, with such greatness surrounding them.

I was attending a wedding of a close friend, during the reception another close friend received a call from her sister informing her their mother had been in an accident. They spoke for a baker’s half dozen minutes then hung up. My friend carried on through the rest of the evening. Not until the next day did we find out the news she kept secret the evening before. I asked her later that day why she remained at the reception after the news. She told me that she knew there was nothing she could do for her mother and she would regret for the rest of her life if she left her best friend’s wedding because she had never felt happier. My friend went on to tell me that her mother always told her when she was a young girl; ‘never willingly replace a happy place with a sad place.”

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